First time.

Thought of keeping it plain and simple since this is my ‘first time’, nothing too fancy or hard to swallow. I have always thought about blogging but I never really took the bite but I’m finally here and I think I’m happy about it. Well my plans for this blog is simple, I have a problem with expressing my thoughts and feelings verbally so I think its time I put them on paper or in this case the internet!

I don’t see my self as having some profound message I want to share with the world, I just want to empty my head because talking never really came easy to me and as of lately I feel like my head will explode with everything I have been keeping to my self so everything that does go on this blog will be my personal experiences, dreams, goals, desires and everything in between. I am not going to go into a detailed introduction into who I am but in the course of my blog you guys will be able to find that out for your self so keep up (if you want to) oh and another thing I promise to be brutally honest about who I am because it somehow seems easier to be honest with an invisible audience than to talk to people you’ve known your whole life.

So staying with the title I guess I am somewhat obligated to talk about one of my ‘first times’, how about my first (very awkward) kiss! I was 16 in my first relationship and apparently in love (what a joke) I decided to go watch a movie with him and my friend (because I was actually too scared to go alone) it was our second date,I guess I wasn’t the type of girl to kiss on the first date back then (things have clearly changed) so the four of us (he bought a friend) made our way to the movie, settled in and I was so nervous I could have had an anxiety attack but thankfully didn’t. Before heading out that day I knew that the kiss was going to happen and I was excited but nervous because my god I didn’t know how to kiss a boy, sure I practiced on my hand but the mechanics of a kiss scared the crap out of me. Anyway half way into the movie things started getting cozy and I knew any minute now and then he leaned in closer and kissed me…. on my teeth!! that’s right the moment his lips touched mine I smiled, like an idiot I SMILED. At the time I thought I would die from the embarrassment of not knowing how to kiss a boy, it took him a couple of tries but finally i got the hang of it and actually enjoyed my self. I have done quite a bit of kissing after that and I am proud to say that I’m a good kisser (I’ve been told).

It’s amazing to think about that day, how full of energy i was. How exhilarating it was to lie to my parents to go meet a boy (I am Asian so my parents were not so open-minded about me having a boyfriend at the age of 16) It was a very young and naive relationship, I actually stayed with him for a year but all we ever did was talk about music and movies and at that age I guess that’s as deep as it went. I had a lot of firsts with him and even though I hardly keep in touch with him I want to thank him for letting me experience things every teenager should.

well that was just a snippet of something from my past and i plan on talking about my past quite a bit because I suppose I have a lot of demons than need to be confronted. Until next time…


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