I was in love with a manipulator.

When one is in love it is so hard to see the other persons faults that’s why they say love is blind and in my case I was so blind I didn’t realize that I was destroying my self in order to save someone else.

  • manipulator: a person who controls or influences others in a clever or unscrupulous way.
Today I wanted to do something different and give you guys a sort of list on how to tell if you are being manipulated by anyone. Manipulators are good at what they do, they know their game and they know how to make their victims dance to the tune they want. I’m not going to pretend to be an expert on the subject but this is my personal experience.
  •  They figure out your weakness and play on it.
In my case it was disappointing my parents, I love my parents very much and in their eyes I wanted to be the best daughter I could hope to be and ‘he’ knew that so every time I would do something or want to do something that was not to his liking he would threaten me (subtly) by saying he would speak to my mom and ‘get advice’ from her on how to deal with the situation. This would automatically set off alarm bell’s in my head and I would give in to what ever he wanted.
  • They always make it your fault. 
This always happened when I would spend time with my friends and if I ever spoke about how much fun I had he just could not handle it, of course he would never say it straight out but he would always bring it up in the most crude way possible. For example he would argue with me about me not spending enough time with him (if he didn’t see me for more than two days he would lose his shit) and he would bring up how I always spend more time with my friends and I always pick them over him and I was a terrible girl friend/ fiance because of it and I shouldn’t even be out without him (he actually said that to me) . Every time he said things like that and made me feel like I was doing something wrong because I spent time with my friends, it broke me. Eventually I started believing that I was a bad girl friend/ fiance if I didn’t spend enough time with him or if I didn’t tell him I loved him enough so I started changing and that was the beginning of the end for me.
  •  They are overly emotional.
I completely understand that men can be as or even more emotional than women and there is nothing wrong with that but there is still a way one should conduct them self’s. Manipulators pray on your vulnerability and ‘he’ knew that I couldn’t stand to see him upset (so is the power of love) so he would always get upset and emotional just to get what he wants, almost like a little child when they don’t get that piece of candy! It came to a point where I stopped talking about certain things because it ‘upset’ him and I did not want to deal with the shit storm that followed.
  •  They make you feel obligated. 
This was the worse part about being with ‘him’, he always would say things like ‘I don’t know what I would do without you’, ‘I might die without you’ or ‘I don’t know the point of living if you ever leave me’. These kind things were told to me constantly (on a daily basis) and at the start I just thought he was really in love with me and it was the sweetest thing until it got to a point where i couldn’t take it anymore.
These are some of the things I had to go through for 2+ years and his transition from this amazingly open-minded, caring, understanding man was so subtle it was almost diabolical. All that time being perfect was him just getting to know my weaknesses and what made me tick and the thing about me is when I love I don’t hold back (or didn’t) he made me feel like the only girl in the world (at the start) and I was young and I thought I had found my prince charming.

It was his words that made me fall in love and finally it was his words that broke me.

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